Sunday, January 31, 2010

There' a stream ,there's no bridge

You said ,
Go to the sun
and I did so.
You said light the fire
I lighted that too.
You said sell all your happiness,
I sold all by auction.
Yet I am alone.
You broke my loneliness into pieces,
scattered them all over the lands and seas,
you tore up my clothing and made me naked
whenever you stretched yourself
I gave you everything,
Yet I am alone.
You do not belong to me
I do not belong to you.
We have streams inside
we have no bridge over the stream.

Ram Charit Manash

I loved mountains.
Even three for years ago I used travel quite a lot . I always preferred spots on mountains to deserts or forests or oceans. As a matter of fact all these places have a kind of strange attractions . Year after year I just packed up little something and boarded the trains to my destination.spent few weeks in those places in the company of vastness, the depth and solitude. In one of those trips to Himalaya I was walking
towards Gangotri. In those days say 11/12 years ago the road to gangotri was not so plain and simple . The bus could take you
upto someplace situated about 15 km from gangotri and then you had to walk. So together with some fellow travellers I started to walk . The road was rugged, and narrow. There were animals which was taking the pious but old people up. I refused to be considered as old and also refused to subject these animals that humiliation. I was 67 but it was a number only as it is still now. But when there were nearly 3 km left I felt , well that would be my last journey. I was gasping.scanty Oxygen at that height, the steep uphill rough road was giving the road sign of eternity.True time to time I sat down on a rock to rest but since the end of day was approaching I knew I have to walk. so I started trudging. Suddenly there was a voice behind me " Babuji, chalne mey bohut taklif ho raha hai, Hai na?. I quickly turned around and saw a very ordinary looking man behind and smiling at me with that kind of smile which you see very rarely in your life, a smile of infinite compassion. I just nodded my head wearily. He came to my side and said , Iye, apko ek gana shunayenge. Ramcharit manas. I was familiar with this great gatha from my visit to Ramakrishna mission. So
He started to sing . His face was full of rugged beards just like the road, His half shirt was patched , his Dhoti was short and unclean, and he was wearing canvas shoes with hole. But as he started to sing I felt so rejuvenated that I forgot all my pains and with greater enthusiasm I walked and walked side by side..
suddenly he stopped singing and stopped walking. His eyes was filled with that childish glint and he sad " Babuji, oh dekhiye apka Ganga mai ji ki mondir" I looked and there It was the gorgeous beautiful temple of gangotri ! I turned back. He was vanished . He was nowhere to be found again. He just vanished in the Himalayan air.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


When you didn't come
everything was
as it was.
Horizon on the sky
was the same,
The way was just like that way,
The wine glass too was just the same.
Then you came.
the way,
the colour of the sky,
the wine glass ,
all dissolved
vermilion red
like my heart.

Monday, January 25, 2010

A day oting to The dental surgery

After two nights of excruciating pain i finally plucked up the COURAGE to be a martyr on the dentist chair. Not Bad . Reclining on the chair ,light focussed in my inside the dentist , a severe looking fellow, growled , " All of them are infected. So all of them have to come out" I croaked ,NOW ???? " YES . He thundered ! I plucked up all my remnants of courage and said , IMPOSSIBLE, You cant do such heinious job with just a snap of a finger.All of them ???? You Fascist!!! You you ..... I lost my oratory power. we bargained at last for four. For an enormous sumof 5000 rupees , He set on his charitable task to EXTRACT. The huge syringe with some greenish liquid passed into my gum and I waited in an antiroom until the final call came. Knees tottering, hands shaking , with blurred vision I gropped on the altar of CRUCIFIXON , The reclining chair, cold hard , head pushed back." Lights , action Silence !! " He growled again . He advanced with his dangerous looking tool towards me. Stooped and held tightly one of my ancestral tooth , with all his might and PULLED. Out came the first one !! Owao. No pain at all. I was in tears with joy .
Oh what a graceful murderer ! Then he came for the second one , Nothing much happened except the metalic sound of the extracted tooth dropping on the metal tray beside. I advanced agai with all his venom. Eyes glaring with infinite joy. Held tightly the third one . Pulled. Heev Ho, heev Ho nothing happened. he tooth wouldnt budge. sweat on the forehead of the mighty hangman. Another more dangerous looking pincer . Another TUG OF WAR. The tooth wouldnt budge.I looked at him blank resignation while he struggled with the obstinate, stubborn piece of me.Pain? Not really. I am thankful to him for that piece of job .Nearly ten minutes or thereabout passed , The sweating , frustrated , almost in tears being vanquished the dentist finally managed and smile in great satisfaction.
Fourth one? No we settle for a reprieve . He handed me the DO s and DONTs and gave me a list of chemicals to create a lifetime toxicity in my system. I groped out from the chamber shakinng hands with him and thanking him for the marvellous job he did for me.
Next appointmet? Ah well ! We shall see.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Let Go

The guards
of this sacred earth
came with their bayonet laughter,
The graveyard red with blood
The schizophrenic poet
held two hundred corpse of children
to his breast and howled.

Two hundred babies suckle blood
from the blossoming breast of their mother,
The creator rolled in infinite satisfaction.
Man masturbates passionately
with the philosophy of LIFE AFTER DEATH .

Let go , brother let go.

Friday, January 22, 2010

There you go !!!
Some thoughts , some insignificant rubble , some borrowed wisdom, some magnified tears, some mistakes and so on and so on.